My Russian Air Conditioning

I consider myself a most fortunate man, because I am surrounded by people, who think of my well-being.  My architect went out of his way to ensure that not a precious ray of sunshine escapes my room, so that I should not suffer from an overdose of oxygen.  My mailman is conscientious enough to deliver my neighbor’s mail to me on a regular basis , so I will get sufficient exercise.  My “significant other” drains my wallet monthly, so I’m not burdened with too much money.  And I am the first on the block to have a repairman install Russian air conditioning.  When the technician arrived, he told me he was a Russian from the Ukraine and that he had a special treat for me:  “This pound of freon will only cost you $150.  If I had come the day next, it might have cost you $400.”  When he left he said: “You can count your stars lucky.  You have Russian air conditioning made in China.”  So I sit and I schwitz, and I choke and I croak.  However, occasionally I feel a stream of lukewarm air wheezing through the vent and am content.  I have Russian air conditioning.

About Robert M. Weiss
From an early age, I've taken great pleasure in reading. Also, I learned to play my 78 player when I was quite young, and enjoyed listening to musicals and classical music. I remember sitting on the floor, and following the text and pictures of record readers, which were popular in the 1940s and 50s. My favorites were the Bozo and Disney albums. I also enjoyed watching the slow spinning of 16s as they spun out tales of adventure. I have always been attracted by rivers, and I love to sit on a boulder with my feet in the water, gazing into the mysteries of swirling currents. I especially like inner tubing on the Rogue River in Southern Oregon. Since my early youth, I've been interested in collecting minerals, which have taught me about the wonderful possibilities in colors and forms. Sometimes I try to imagine what the ancient Greeks must have felt when they began to discover physical laws in nature. I also remember that I had a special passion for numbers, and used to construct them out of stones. After teaching Russian for several years, I became a writer, interviewer, editor, and translator. I continue to delight in form, and am a problem solver at heart.

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