Something To Think About: A Filipina Secret: “Tossing The Dog”

The Philippines are a series of small islands dotting the Pacific Ocean.  Its people are predominantly Roman Catholic, except for the Muslim population of the southern-most island, Mindanao.  Therefore, divorce is not recognized and annulment is prohibitively expensive.  A Filipina’s main weapon in an unhappy and troubled relationship is “tampo”(“the silent treatment”), which can last for hours and even days.  During “tampo”, the Filipina’s soft facial features turn to stone and her eyes stare out with a cold ferocity.  But there are times when even “tampo” does not work, and if a Filipina does not have sufficient funds for an annulment, and since divorce is not accepted, it would appear that she is stuck in a miserable relationship for life.  But Filipinas are known for their tenaciousness in solving problems, so they came up with “tossing the dog” as a permanent solution to this disturbing problem.

Filipinos are known for their close, extended family relationships.  Thus, there are always a lot of relatives to assist a Filipina in a time of despair.  Making use of this fact, the Filipina always has other Filipinas to rely on when she needs to “toss the dog”.  “Tossing the dog”  is certainly a last resort, but is used more often than one might expect.  Briefly, it consists of this:  Late at night when the unsuspecting offender is in a deep sleep, a group of the Filipina’s female relatives creep up to the offender’s room.  By applying a cloth with a knock-out chemical to his nose, the Filipinas ensure that he continues to live in the land of dreams.  They then bind him with strong coiled rope and put him in a vehicle, parked conveniently near his home.  Then, they drive the unfortunate man to Pangitka Bay.  There, like looming shadows of the night, using their combined strength, they carry the offender up a rocky cliff.  When they reach the top, they give out tribal screeches and curses and “toss the dog” into the shark-infested waters of Pangitka Bay.  The offender is never seen again and his disappearance is called an unfortunate accident.  Thus, the ingenuity of the Filipina overcomes a persistent obstacle and she is at last free to breathe the air of joy and freedom.